By Jasmine Hsieh
The Scene staff
Forest Park student Sejla Grahovic, a Bosnian refuge who has overcome many obstacles, wants to help others better appreciate their own lives.
About a year ago, she self-published an autobiography called “While You Played, I Ran.” It’s meant to encourage unhappy teenagers in particular.
“For a very long time, I felt like I couldn’t tell anybody how I felt,” Grahovic said. “Because I was so poor … My whole life was so poor that I could not even get a chocolate from a store when I was in Bosnia, and nobody here would understand that. So I just wrote everything down and kept it to myself.”
Grahovic, 39, is an education major. She was 13 when she immigrated to the United States with her parents, Hasan and Minka, and brother, Serif.
Life as a young immigrant wasn’t easy. Grahovic didn’t speak English and wasn’t used to American culture.
Keeping a journal helped her deal with the daily challenges. Twenty years later, it became the basis of her autobiography.
“People always ask me so many questions (about) my life and what I’ve been through, so I thought, ‘Why don’t I write a book about it?’” she said.
“While You Played, I Ran” has sold more than 1,000 copies, and Grahovic is pleased with that outcome. The 62-page book is available at major bookstores and amazon.com (Xlibris, $22.14 hardback, $11.99 paperback, $3.99 Kindle version).
Grahovic’s story begins in the former Yugoslavia in Southeast Europe. From 1991 to 2001, a series of wars prompted its six republics – Slovenia, Croatia, Bosnia, Serbia, Montenegro and Macedonia – to declare independence.
The Bosnian War raged from 1992 to 1995. Grahovic’s family supported the West Army, led by business leader Fikret Abdic, in its fight against the South Army, led by former president Alika Izebegovic.
In 1994, the family fled to a refugee camp established by the United Nations in Croatia. They stayed for half a year before returning to find their hometown of Velika Kladusa destroyed.
The family moved to the United States on March 30, 1998, as suggested by Hasan’s brother, who had immigrated two years earlier.
“I had no idea what America meant,” Grahovic said. “But I knew from television that it was big and beautiful.”
Despite those expectations, her first day of school was a nightmare. She was placed in eighth grade because of her age but couldn’t understand anything the teacher said. Just finding her locker was a struggle, and then she didn’t know how to open it.
Everything was confusing to her. She couldn’t help but cry.
“All I wanted to do was to go back home,” she said. “I wanted to go back to Bosnia, to a place where I would fit better and to a place where I belonged.”
Lori Orlando, Grahovic’s English professor at Forest Park, enjoyed the autobiography.
“Right after I heard about Sejla’s book, I borrowed it from the library and read it,” Orlando said. “It was a great, very interesting, and I’m impressed by what Sejla has been through.”
Grahovic isn’t the only one in the family who had a hard time fitting into American culture. Her parents have never felt like they belonged, she said.
Her father works as a carpenter, and her mother is a maid in a hotel. To this day, they barely speak English.
Grahovic’s brother was in and out of trouble for years, she said, making friends with the wrong people and getting shot in a bar fight. He has since cleaned up his act and is now married with two kids.
Over the years, Grahovic has tried to stay optimistic to help the family get through hardships. She gave up her wedding when her father was hospitalized with tuberculosis.
“I thought about killing myself so many, many times,” she said. “Also drug use or alcohol abuse. But I never needed any of those because I just kept believing in myself and my family.”
Grahovic now lives a happy life with her husband and 7-year-old son. She hopes her story will remind people to be grateful for what they have, even at difficult times, and to never lose hope.
“I want people – especially teenage groups today – to know what I’ve been through and see that I’m still OK,” she said. “If you don’t have a home today, that’s OK. You’ll have it someday.”
Grahovic’s Bosnian friends and family are happy with her autobiography and support her decision to write it.
“Sejla is an intelligent, amazingly strong person,” said her sister-in-law, Verdina Demirovic Pilipovic, 24, a legal assistant. “I think she’s very brave to be willing to talk about her journey. And we are all very proud of her.”