By Evan Sandel
The Scene staff
Forest Park student Manar Al-Hussainy still is haunted by the memory of a girl at her Iraqi elementary school who mentioned that her parents had “talked bad” about President Sadaam Hussein.
The wrong people overhead the girl’s indiscretion and informed Iraqi secret police, known as the “Mukhabarat.” Her parents were promptly killed.
Al-Hussainy also has disturbing stories about the effects of war on her Iraqi homeland and family.
“A cousin and uncle of mine were killed in bombings,” she said. “My brother … was hospitalized for several weeks (after being hit) by a car bomb, but (he) eventually recovered.”
Al-Husseiny is one of many international students at Forest Park taking classes to improve their English.
She recently made a presentation to members of the college’s International Club, telling them about Iraqi culture and her journey to America.
It’s not unusual for students from war-torn countries to attend Forest Park, according to Keith Hulsey, who advises the club and teaches English as a second language.
“Every time there is a major international conflict, Forest Park sees an influx of students from the region,” he said. “Iraq, Somalia, Bosnia … I expect we will have several more Syrian students soon.”
Al-Hussainy has been living in the United States since 2000. She studied microbiology at University of Missouri-St. Louis, continuing an education she began at University of Mosul in Iraq.
Al-Hussainy has a husband and children but declines to give names or details, except to say they faced extreme heartache early in their marriage.
“We had our second child, a boy, and at 9 months, he got sick,” she said. “After two months in the hospital, I took him back to Iraq, and he passed away there. That was the hardest thing. “Al-Hussainy doesn’t want her photograph taken and won’t share photos that show friends or acquaintances from Iraq without permission. Some follow strict religious rules governing display of the female form.
Even in the more liberal northern part of Iraq, women are expected to cover themselves in public.
“My sister and sister-in-law are both dentists,” Al-Hussainy said. “They travel to the office in their abaya (traditional Muslim women’s robe), work in professional clothing and then replace the abaya before leaving the office to return home.”
Al-Hussainy has made many friends in the St. Louis area and, despite U.S. tensions with Iraq, she has encountered very little animosity, although one exception stands out.
“I was at Schnucks late at night to get some milk for my young daughter, when a man in a wheelchair approached me and told me that I was a problem,” she said. “I simply said, ‘I’m sorry’ and went on my way.”
Al-Hussainy was born in Najaf and raised mostly in Kirkuk, two very different Iraqi cities, giving her a comprehensive view of Iraqi culture. The southern parts of Iraq are comprised primarily of Sunni Muslims and contain many holy cities, as a result already strict religious rules become even more astringent in these areas.
As the daughter of two teachers Al-Hussainy places a lot of value on education. She received consistently high marks growing up and obtained a degree in Microbiology. The majority of her education came from the University of Mosul at the northern tip of Iraq near borders with Turkey and Syria.
Al-Hussainy describes the Iraqi university as offering a considerably different college experience than Forest Park, particularly concerning interaction between the sexes.
“We had to be careful to behave correctly,” said Hussainy. “There were mixed classes but we never took photographs with the boys and preferred to work in groups with the other women.”
The social rules governing the behavior of women, even in the northern, more liberal parts of Iraq, contrast dramatically with the expectations of women in America.
Al-Hussainy explains that when and to what degree a woman must be covered can vary. A Christian woman in Kirkuk, a more liberal northern city, would be free to dress in western style clothing, unencumbered by her own religion or societal expectations. However, the same Christian woman in Najaf, a holy city in conservative territory, would certainly be required to cover everything save hands and face.
These clothing restrictions even extend to very young girls; Al-Hussainy began dressing her daughter in an Abaya at age 8.
“When we visited Iraq my daughter said she preferred Kirkuk to Najaf, young girls are allowed to run outside and play in Kirkuk, in Najaf my daughter had to stay indoors,” Al-Hussainy said.
Iraqi marriage traditions also clearly illustrate a difference between our societies. Al-Hussainy only met her husband two days before the arranged marriage took place.
“I was not so much nervous as shocked. He didn’t look at all like his pictures,” laughed Al-Hussainy.
The fathers arranged the marriage over the phone, her fiancé’s family was living in Jordan, having fled Saddam’s rule in the early 1990s.
She moved to the United States in 2000, after getting engaged to an Iraqi man. It was a marriage arranged by their fathers via telephone.
Al-Hussainy went with members of her family to visit her new in-laws in Jordan, but was stopped by Iraqi investigative service officials, who had eavesdropped on the arranging of the marriage.
These corrupt government officials demanded bribes to allow the Al-Hussainy family communication across the Iraqi border, something strictly regulated at the time.
“It was like living in a big prison,” she said.
The little girl who inadvertently alerted Iraqi militants to her parent’s subversive political views is one of the most shocking examples of the harsh rein of Saddam Hussein but the constant corruption and infighting has also affected Al-Hussainy on a personal level.
“We moved many times, and the roads are dangerous… My father had to move our family to protect it,” she said.
Hulsey feels the International Students Club is helpful for students such as Al-Hussainy.
“It can be particularly difficult for the students from war-torn countries. Oftentimes students have been through traumatic situations or can’t go home again, the club gives them a place to feel comfortable and speak with people who have shared those experiences,” said Hulsey.
International Student’s Club communications officer P.J. Weakly described the differences for students adjusting to life in America as more mundane.
“Language is the largest barrier,” said Weakly. “Adjusting to new methods of socializing we take for granted, such as Facebook, can also become barriers to adjusting.”
According to Al-Hussainy, there have been some improvements since the forceful removal of Saddam Hussein, but government corruption remains considerable.
“People who get (government) jobs often stay long enough to steal as much as possible then run away.” Al-Hussainy disparaged.
The benefits of Saddam’s removal have included higher salaries for some; Saddam’s policies strongly favored the Sunni of southern Iraq.
“For Sunni, under Saddam, it was a five-star life,” said Al-Hussainy. “Everyone else got by on very little.”
Other positive changes include freedom of travel and the ability to speak openly without fear of reprieve.
Speaking with Mrs. Al-Hussainy clarifies the difference between Iraqi culture and the country’s shady political history.
Iraqi traditions are dear to Al-Hussainy, who continues to wear the abaya regularly, despite the lack of societal pressure to do so, not to mention St. Louis weather. She prepares traditional Iraqi food and she passes traditions down to her daughter, now 12, while also welcoming changes to Iraq itself such as improvements in infrastructure and political stability.
The difference is a critical one, the difference between modernization and westernization, a difference that must be embraced and encouraged by Iraqis and the International community alike.
“I hope for my country to be modernized but not to lose its traditions, to stay true to its beliefs,” said Al-Hussainy.